I woke up in a cold sweat at 1:30a.m, and normally I’d blame it on this memory foam mattress (which I don’t endorse at all), but I know that it’s all about my thoughts. My mind is racing and in overdrive about where I’ve come from, where I am and where I’m going; and how the struggles I’ve endured and overcome, have played a major part in who and where I am in my journey thus far.
I’ve always believed that if you work hard and have Faith, everything You want will fall right into place. There is no struggle for believers, right? Oh Lord, how wrong I was. So, this post is dedicated to those who are struggling with understanding your struggle. The why’s, the how’s and the when is this mess going to be over? I pray that it motivates you, inspires you and keeps you pushing forward.
I come from a family who lived up in the church. Ya know, at church 3-4 days out the week, not including Sunday. From bible study to angelic choir to adult choir to youth choir to usher board to youth bible study, to young warriors for Christ to mother’s board…shall I continue? Yes, it was our second home, and in my mind, all the people that dedicated their time to being in church like that, were living great lives. They had nice cars, beautiful homes, went to good schools etc… I did wonder why my mama wasn’t privy to those things, but I thought that maybe all that was coming for her soon (which by God’s grace, it did). As a child, you don’t know what other people go through, because one, you had to leave the room when grown folks were talking; and two, looking on the outside at what people have or what they want you to see, is never a good judge of someone’s character or to determine their struggles.
I had quite a few struggles in college, but I attributed that to my own lack of maybe not being as committed to God as I should’ve been. I was ashamed because I wasn’t ‘perfect’ Nicki who lived the church. Of course I know there is no human being on this earth that is perfect, but in my young mind, I’d gone so far off the path (now, I have no shame in the experiences nor the mistakes). I would often beat myself up over the mistakes I made and would go through bouts of depression (something I’ve only shared with my mom until today) over the struggles I faced. I felt that if I lived better, none of it would’ve happened to me. I blamed myself, and though I worked hard with God on my side to overcome them, it didn’t cross my mind that it had to happen. However, it was never meant to break me, but to mold me and make me better. The struggles I faced are very similar to so many others’, but I know what I learned from them, at that time in my life, was meant solely for me.
The Webster definition for struggle is: to try very hard to do, achieve, or deal with something that is difficult or that causes problems (http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/struggle). The struggle was never meant to break you. The struggle is not God saying, “You messed up, so you’re fired; you’ve got to suffer on your own, see ya later.” I believe He’s saying, “This has to happen in order for me to get you to that next opportunity; that healthier relationship; that better connection with family and friends; to restore your Faith in me; to give you a testimony to share with others; to teach you to love yourself more in order set Godly standards for your life, etc.. It is God allowing that rough situation that may seem impossible to overcome, to happen to you, because you can and will get through it.
Listen, he would never put more on us than we can bear, and you must believe that. So the first question of: Why did it happen to you? I say, why not? Because God said this will strengthen you; bring you closer to Him; teach you the lesson, in order to receive the Blessing. The second question: How did it happen, was it avoidable? Maybe it was, or maybe it wasn’t at the time. Remember, God already knows what we’re going to do before we do it, and no matter what, He still preordains our steps. Fall off the path? Of course we do, often, but He already knew that. I promise you He did. He’s omnipotent and amazing like that!!😁
Let Him guide you, give you strength, show you the way to overcome. Again, He’s bringing you closer to Him. The last question, for those who are wondering: When will this mess be over? The bible said, “Be still and know that I am God, I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted on earth!” (Psalm 46:10). Your belief is half of the overcoming of the struggle. Exalt Him, Acknowledge Him!! He will see you through!
There is no “I” in struggle for those of us who believe. You are Not alone, He is there with you and for you. He did not bring you this far to leave you. Seek Him, trust in His Will and believe you will come out better at the end of your struggle! As you endure, please don’t fret; work hard to overcome; be humble; show repentance; and be ready and willing to learn. Know starting today, that the struggle you’re going through is God saying, “Hold on and be steadfast, for I’m not through with you yet!” 🤗